Friday, December 26, 2008
These days my mind ain't doing its job. I'm taking real long to process information, though mostly is due to the laziness to do so. Haha. I think its the holiday mood that is setting in my head that now I feel like doing homework to stimulate my brain.
Ever since the start of December, as mentioned in a previous post, I keep losing track of days and dates, and this led to further loss of track of events and things to do in my schedule. I keep forgetting I have outings on which days and things dueing on others. And everything is snowballing to a whole big chunk of anxiety that I might missed out on certain events, information or things to do. It has been hovering in my head and it kinda exhaust me somehow, furthermore it is rather annoying.
I don't think anyone can understand what I just rambled on, but I just hope I can start to keep track on dates, days, time and events.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Okay this happened like a few weeks ago.
Dear friend, please note that your insecurities are not only annoying me but hurting me too. You have been targetting your insecurities on every one of us, your friends, and I think its just not nice and wrong.
You know that you're insecure, or maybe you just don't want to admit so. You know that we know you are insecure, and you keep using this knowledge as your trump card. You played on this factor and put us down to esteem yourself.
You know, once or twice, a subtle shot from you was still forgivable. We tried to understand and ignore it, if it could boost you a little, we guessed we could bear with it. And sure it boosted you, not in your insecurities, but in your courage to step up a notch in your shots, the extremeness, the frequency, the emphasis, the audience and also the hurt.
I believe it has now become a habit, or maybe a hobby even. It is rather unbearable and it has really got out of hand. May we request you stop all of it? I just don't know how to tell you that its hurting so badly cos apparently you're insecure.
I guess, maybe, things will not change cos everyone knows you're stubborn, unwilling to accept good changes. Accepting others for who they are shouldn't be taken in too literally as you have done so.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I want to go shopping. I wanna shop for pretty dresses and tops. I keep running out of clothes to wear which is really sad. ]]]]]]:
I have no idea what's with me this December. Ever since the 1st, I've been mixing up dates and days. I would tell you I'm free on that day and before I sleep I'd tell you I have mixed up my dates. I don't even know what's today's date and day. My guess is Tuesday.
Well 15 December I went Tekong and Sean got enlisted. I guess he is really sad and unhappy about the pes he is in. And my dad asked me to go enlist myself. Whole Tekong experience is really lame and boring but life's there shouldn't be very tough I guess. And no, I'm not going to enlist myself.
I think I'm not thinking very well these days. I guess I'm kinda exhausted for no apparent reason.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Anyway most of you should know that I had 3 dreams about O's, after O's. Haha.
First dream was that I got back my results and my L1R5 was 14, a point more than my brother's.
Second dream was that L1R5 was 15.
Third dream was hilarious. It was SS paper and I didn't study for it. I wasn't in school uniform and I didn't bring my entry proof and ic. I wanted to revise last minute and realised I only brought history notes. And we were all taking the paper in the train.
Three dreams in 2 weeks. What a laugh.
Anyway my mama is mean.
2nd last day of November she told me she's not giving me allowance for December. Tsk. If she had told me earlier I would have prepared for it and do adjustments to my November expenditure. Anyway her reasons for doing so was that she's probably cutting costs and that I was spending too much. Ugh. Please note that I paid for my prom ticket, I paid for my own chalet, I paid for a thousand of stuff which I didn't freaking claim and when I told her so, she freaking ignored.
My mama is really mean.
Went shopping with her and bought this wallet for 15 bucks. She said I when worked I'm to return her the money. Ugh. Please note that I bought it cos she kept complaining about my pathetic wallet and that I thought she was paying for it, if not I wouldn't have bought it. And if I knew I was going to pay for it, I'd buy that nice billabong wallet than this 15 bucks one.
My mama is meaner.
She said I find job was all talk and no actions. Ugh. Please note that I have been going for job interviews and apparently all lobangs I got was for January and it seems December I wouldn't be able to work. I got rather stressed up about my transportation costs for December and the no job opportunities in December and her timely remark was simply encouraging.
She cut my allowance at last notice, cheated my feelings by ripping me off and accused me baselessly. Can I not be angry about it? And this probably explains my attitude during the Malaysia trip which she complained I was not cooperative in. Whatever.
YAY I'M UPDATING!!
So this ain't updated. I guess I was so happy that O's ended that I went jumping around and forgot all about my blog.
Updates updates. Went Malaysia and didn't enjoy myself, and missed out on loads of stuff while I was there. Went for interviews and got rather dejected when every lobangs I got was for January and none for December. But I found another at Suntec and saw my primary school friends interviewing too. Class chalet, was so-so but the guys are simply jackasses who probably have a mindset birthing from their asses.
P.S. Updates are not in order and are really brief.