Monday, September 07, 2009
Blogger is still sick, really annoying.
I don't know. I'm pretty sure you were referring to me and our ship. If that's the case, I know.
I don't know why its like this for you, but let me tell you, it hurts oh so deep. Saturday night on the train home, I began to ponder. Emotions got the better of me and my nose turned sour and my eyes warmed with teardrops as I fought it in. I just kept pretending to sleep and rubbing my eyes, hopefully no one noticed.
It was a long journey home and I start to tear up again. It was a tough fight but I managed too stopper it with sniffling.
11 in the night and the walk home was empty of people. Thankfully though. Cos I was crying now. I so wanted to huddle in the corner of the playground to sob but I went home instead wiping my tears away before entering the house. I headed straight to bathe and squatted on the floor with the shower on, sobbing.
Embarrassing, whatever.
I'm really hurt, even he couldn't make me feel the way I felt that night. You meant so much to me you know? But it doesn't seem so for you? Don't those memories matter?
This ain't a guilt trigger, but a plea for giving me a chance to make it all up to you, to salvage this special ship.
Wrong? Very. Me?
Thursday, September 03, 2009
And now that we've moved on to our chosen path, friends without communication, we've distanced and this sucks.
Everyone has moved on to their new lives with new friends but I've been clinging on, reluctant to move I guess. So much so that I didn't dare to venture. The feeling of losing all of my friends is hitting me again. Scary much. Silly most.
Not too long ago I made the decision to let it go, but I hesitated and held it closer. What's stopping me? Beats me. Like everyone else, you're another mover, just that you sprinted away long ago.
Though, maybe all of it still lingering in me is making me feel so lousy.
Emotion rollercoaster ride. Please don't insert a loop-a-loop, I'll fly out of my seat.
Rollercoaster by ~compugeek722 on deviantART